Written by Karen Howington
Ah Wyoming…where have you been all my redneck life? I really didn’t know there was life outside Ouachita Parish in Louisiana (no, we aren’t necessarily more religious; we just have parishes where ya’ll have counties). I had literally lived there for all of my 47 summers on this big spinning ball. Then a series of life events placed me smack dab in the center of this great state y’all call “The Cowboy State.” Wow! What adventures were in store for this southern belle in the Wild West!
I now live in Riverton, where you can see the Wind River Mountain Range from my back deck. The Owl Creeks are to the right, and I have nine acres of sagebrush to call my own! The only things I dislike about living in the country in a field of sage are the mice. Geez, having to learn to coexist with the ones that we don’t catch in traps is the new norm, ya’ll! But I digress.
Now I used to say that the mosquito, not the pelican, should be the Louisiana state bird. But maybe it’s Wyoming’s. I mean, what do y’all feed those monsters? They leave whelps the size of quarters on my delicate southern skin. And the wildlife! I am convinced that I shall befriend a bison one day. To date, I have seen grizzlies, black and brown bears with cubs, elk with velvet horns, big horned sheep with – well, big horns, mountain goats, and wolves! And about the only wildlife I ever saw in Louisiana was an alligator. I grew up on the bayou, where I saw countless crocodilians. And only in places like the deep south could you see a dead one on the side of the interstate. True story.
Discovering Hiking in Wyoming
I have discovered that I am hopelessly addicted to an activity that is very popular here in the Wild West: hiking!! Since moving up here, I have lost forty pounds whilst participating in that peaceful, satisfying activity, and sometimes I go with my Pal Peanut, the wonder rescue mutt. And I bring bear spray. And wasp spray (for bears).
Sinks Canyon in Lander is one of my favorite places to hike. I walk up to the beautiful waterfall that awaits the weary explorer after a 700-foot increase in altitude and 1.5-miles through a well-worn rocky trail. The first time I set out on this hike, I was not in the greatest shape of my life, and I had to stop frequently to rest upon large boulders that dotted the trail. While sitting on a rock to rest, a sixty-something couple approached me. Being the friendly southerner that I am, and being able to strike up a conversation with even the rock that I sat on, I said “hi”.
We began talking and I learned that the fairer sex of the couple had just had hip replacement surgery six weeks ago. Her destination? Also to the waterfalls. Oh, it was on like donkey kong! I could not let this senior citizen with a new hip make it up there before me! After returning down the trail, I would get my lawn chair (yes, a real one; I am southern by heritage and must remain that way, anywhere life might take me) and settle by a cool mountain stream in my favorite reading place.
The Southern Belle Gets Stuck in the Backcountry
One unintended activity that I have engaged in since making it to Wyoming is getting my small SUV stuck in the backcountry. Twice. On the same road. Once it was mud vs. Karen, but the last time it was the incline and dirt vs. Karen. My front wheel drive Ford Escape was not living up to its name since I could not escape that place in the road. Both times I had to hike up a large hill to get cell phone reception to call my long-suffering husband to come rescue me. But I come prepared in times like this: I always have at least 3 books to read, because one might never know when one might find themselves stuck on some random dirt road in Wyoming, right? Always be prepared!!
The Southern Belle Hikes Alone in the Wild West
I have been told by you Wyomingites that I am crazy to hike alone in places that are known for having bears and moose. Well, perhaps I am crazy, but I have to admit that I have never felt more alive than when I am in those areas. Adrenaline junkie, hmmm?
My husband and I have traveled together to many places since moving here, too. Flaming Gorge, Yellowstone, Jackson Hole (where y’all keep the snobs, I have been told), Cody, Casper, Dubois, Tensleep (so named by Native Americans because it took ten sleeps to get there from some place ten sleeps away), Thermopolis, ad nauseum. We are new empty nesters, so we just pick up and go when we can.
One particularly unforgettable trip was to Thermopolis, which is home to the world’s largest hot springs. I went to the Star Plunge hot spring pools and sat in the lobster pot, which is hotter than the other waters. After soaking for a while, I got out to read. Then there was a ruckus at the tub and there floating in the water was a brown log, ah la the Caddyshack movie, staring the funnyman Chevy Chase, where equally funny Bill Murray finds a Mars chocolate bar (looks just like a turd) that he picks up, smells, cries out “doodie”, then takes a bite. Except that this was no candy bar. It could have contained the remains of one, and you sure as heck would not want to find yourself taking a bite of it. Yes, folks, someone had used the hot tub as their own personal toilet.
Finding Peace in the Wild Wild West
I love the laid back pace of life here in Riverton. No one seems to be in a hurry, and five o’clock traffic is non-existent. The people are so friendly, always willing to help out when some southerner who isn’t used to driving in the snow finds themselves stuck in a snow drift in the car, or in a ditch. Me. It was me. I was the southerner that was stuck.
Living here makes me sometimes wish I could have grown up on a ranch. And I love running into my customers at places around town. I am a pharmacist at K-mart, and I dearly love the mostly little old people who fill prescriptions there. And they seem to equally love me, possibly due to my southern charm, and accent! Speaking of my accent, my husband and I were on a road trip to Park City, Utah and went to shop in an outlet store when I asked the young clerk a question. She seemed to smirk as if I was a dumb country bumpkin. Well, honey, this redneck has a five year college degree! Don’t judge a person by the way they talk!
Skiing in Jackson Hole Wyoming
We took skiing lessons in Jackson Hole last winter, and this southern belle flunked skiing 101 badly. I could never properly propel myself, and having had major back surgery in 2004, I was wary of falling and twisting my back. So I gave up and went back to the cabin to read by the fire. Another new activity was cross country skiing, which we did in Jackson Hole, also (does it make me a snob for going there so frequently?) It was ok, but it was not my favorite activity thus far in the Wild West. I checked that off my bucket list, at least.
I love this new state that I now call home! Life is just one big adventure, right y’all?
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